Me-cation

My First Vacation in Decades is a Vacation from Me

I have two dogs: a rotty named Jupiter Juice and his half-pit-bull, daughter India. I also have a cat, Sweetness (you can see them all in my latest blog at JaxonCohen.blogspot). When I'm finished with the day, I come home and sit down to relax. These two celebrate by howling as if it's Spring Break! I've learned to embrace the three or four minutes of ear-spiting sound. And for the first time in decades, I join them.

There are many complicated reason why I remained a Born-Again Vacation Virgin. I was in the Army. I took care of my father for a decade and a half. Since his death, I've been paying the bills. This year, my mother challenged me to make time for her. She invited me to the zoo. I accepted in light of my last post (my next post will cover our visit).

I am in the middle of an experiment with myself: practice what you preach. I theorize that the best way to change behavior is to make the process an ongoing game with rules, rewards, and a scoreboard. Science is backing this up. I have many things I want to change about myself. I've created a game to etch out the person I want to be. Spending a few days with her is the first opportunity here.

I will practice my future.

What do I mean by this? There is a popular saying, “fake it until you make it.” This vacation will be spent faking it. I will pretend to be the person I want to be. I will follow all the rules of the game I've not been able to because of the daily grind. I will score the most points. I will blow that board up! But more than this, I will create a playbook of winning strategies. By acting out my highest priorities even just a few times for a few days, I will change reality. I will create memories – new behaviors to build upon. These few days will be filled with “doing things differently.”

Instead of licensing myself to luxuriate in the depths the self-gratification, I thought it best to traverse this extraordinarily rare space by giving myself what I really want: a better life. The next time you take a vacation, consider this concept. Time off might not be as rare for you as it has been for me and not every vacation should be spent this way. But consider trying it out. Maybe next time you don't make the typical attempt to “release some steam.” Instead of being who you are everyday, but just somewhere special, stay where you are and pretend to be the person you wish you were everyday. Take a class. Organize your finances. Stare at some art. Clean out the basement. Explore a risky, family activity that requires investment. Climb the mountain that is your ego and crush it, if only for a few days.

Try a me-cation and when it's over, feel the joy of standing on new ground. Sometimes the greatest thing we can do to ease the stress of everyday life is to take time-off and focus on reconstructing our everyday life for the better.

For a Good Time, Visit Animal Prison

Only amusement and water parks were preferable to the zoo as a child. The pure amazement and wonder of lifeforms from far off places provided hours of joy and cemented many memories of family and fun. And then I grew up. As a teenager, I visited the zoo one, last time. It horrified me. All I saw was withering beings trapped in cages. I couldn't believe these places were legal. The facilities were not all dilapidated and it was clear the staff was doing their best but the idea of incarcerating the innocent for our amusement bothered me.

Both extremes lack subtly but are equally true. The human race, as a matter of priority, must consider the longevity of this institution. Confining these individuals is wrong. Imagine some alien race doing this to us. Imagine alien parents taking their alien offspring to the human zoo. There, the great lessons of our ugly past and present are placed on full display. The child watches in wonder as it beholds an array of humans from different ages, captured, held, and made to enact some bit of history like puppets in a play, only the humans don't know they are in a Matrix-style virtual-reality. The allegory is a perfect horror story with endless possibilities of torture and evil. What we are doing is not as extreme but certainly in the same vain. We go to zoos to virtually taste these creatures' complex, authentic reality. But the truth is that despite appearances, the wall behind them is concrete, not a lush forest, dense jungle, or vast desert.

Fact: humanity disintegrates natural habitats. Science deems this the Holocene or Human Era as we are the dominate force of nature. The choices we make shape the world. As long as we believe commerce is a higher priority than sustainability, zoos serve a purpose. Finding awe, making a connection, learning respect, and understanding the necessities of life means future generations may use their memories of the zoo to mend our course in time to save these critical species we find so wonderful.

Instead of seeing a visit as solely 'fun,' we have the opportunity to ramp-up change with a focus on education. Until we find long-term balance with nature, zoos have their place. And when we finally deem them illegal, it will be because we will have far better ways to appreciate life on Earth. How? Simple, instead of bringing the Savannah to us, we will bring the world to the Savannah. How? Who knows. However we accomplish this, it must be sustainable (maybe flying-cars; in fact, weren't we also promised smart-jackets, holographic-billboards, self-tying shoes, and hover-boards by now).

Read a related article about the stewardship of dogs at JaxonCohen.blogspot.com

Negotiate Like a Bored Russian

Russians have their own, unique style. It isn't pleasant. And when it's over, they'll seem as relieved as you. Maybe you'll even become friends because that's what happens to innocent soldiers when the war is over. The fact is, it's all part of the plot and Russians know well how to tell the story of suffering and victory. When negotiating with a Russian, prepare to endure the intense, complex, and labored narrative of a thick novel.

When the peninsula was invaded, the idea of an imminent WWIII raised its multimedia profile. Putin's extreme move ran contrary to signed documents. But remember, initially he denied any involvement. What anonymous soldiers with Russian license-plates? A staged election added a veneer of legitimacy but remains factually insignificant; Russia occupies Crimea. At the time, there was no violence, no war. Their stagecraft failed to incite revolt. So they raised the stakes, massing troops at the boarder and sending operatives into nearby population centers. When entering negotiations with a Russian, brace yourself for an emotional roller-coaster that starts with the extreme.

Negotiating with a Russian means dealing with someone who isn't in charge. It means no matter what you agree upon, they'll have to take it to someone else to make the call, even if you're talking to Putin himself, in this case a bystander who claims to have no troops or agenda in a place he now refers to as “New Russia.” When negotiating with a Russian, expect he'll always have to get back to you.

Putin admits to some influence, strictly used for humanitarian purposes. Contrary to this facade, his real agenda is focused and his influence, widespread. For example, the thing to do if you're a Russian soldier with some time-off is to vacation in New Russia and play real-war. Recently, a group of captured Russian paratroopers were exchanged for Ukrainian fighters which brings us to our next point.

When your Russian counterpart doesn't like the facts on the ground, they will use a magic-wand to make it all disappear: incompetence. What happened was not as it seems; there's no invasion. Instead, it was a small error in a complex calculation. It won't happen again – until it does. And sanctions? This time the West made the mistake. Sanctions only help the Russian economy in the long-run by providing opportunity to indigenous merchants. If you think you've got a Russian cornered, be assured they will turn it around and frame you in that same corner. Moreover, if you do them a favor, it is seen as weakness. And when you make a mistake, they'll never let you forget it.

A crisis in Ukraine? In Russia, it's more like an opportunity they have all the time in the world to monopolize. They're in no hurry, possibly even bored. The fact is Putin is popular. His people support him and see him as the wise-warrior who only wishes to protect his Ukrainian-Russian family from the reach of the radical Ukrainian Government. What he really wants is no secret: a land-bridge to the peninsula. The Crimean naval-base is non-negotiable. Remember South Ossetia? That was the blueprint. New Russia is the master-plan. And when Putin wins, he'll frame it as if he did us all a favor. 

Our Human Leash

I drove home from Ft. Benning in a 1976 CJ-5 Jeep. Even at the time, it was an old, beat -up ride. While crossing the country, I experienced an unparalleled sense of freedom. After I returned home to care for my father, I soon questioned the usefulness of the strap around my wrist. In the Army, punctuality was required. That watch served me well. But in my new roll, I was the one with the plan. I had a new relationship with time. So, I removed the leash.

Wealth is the definition of living without a leash. Money fundamentally renders control over space, silence, and time. When you're the one with the funds, people wait for you. Large estates primarily provide extensive personal space and the ability to maintain a level of silent serenity. Why else get rich if not to come and go as you please, surround yourself with only the people and things you choose, and be able to find the peace and quite you deserve. For the rest of us, we have to go where we are told, do what we must, endure those we don't like, and complete all this by a certain time, under questionable conditions. Just like a dog, the masses must respond to a leash.

The current incarnation is new and shinny. It's smart. And it digs deep into your psyche. It capitalizes every aspect, every corner of your life. You don't only feel naked without it, you long for it when separated for even a moment. It's so cool and it's your phone. How much of your time, your space, and your solitude is exchanged for you complete attention on that small screen? What are we becoming?

How many of us do any number of things with this thing in our hand we would never do without it? Walking down the street while talking on the phone, minus the phone, and you look like a crazy person. Driving while texting, minus the device, and you're simply a slumped-forward tragedy waiting to happen. Exchanging texts about things instead of talking, sending photos instead of sharing physical space, watching others embarrass themselves on YouTube for a cheap thrill, filming reality instead of participating in it … the list is long. We act in ways we would not if not for this noose around our soft-stuff.

When will we confront reality and decide to dissolve the leash? Using a tool is so much different than being one. If the world around us can no longer compete with the world inside our phones, how are we fundamentally different from the pods of humans in the Matrix? Do our devices serve us or do we serve them?

The primary question is: how tight is the leash? The most simple answer is in the form of this question: when and for how long did you last leave it off?